#18 - The Knife a The Spatula: Knowing When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

Today’s title may sound cryptic and odd, but by the time you’ve listened to this episode, I promise you will totally get it! I'll cover what is called the "internal boundary" using a recent event from my own life that will help clarify exactly what the internal boundary is and how it works. Biggest Takeaways From Episode #18: The internal boundary is the boundary that all of us have—or should have. When you experience an event or situation, you filter that experience through your perception and judgments. You then decide what you think and how you feel, and decide want to do about what you’ve experienced—if anything. This is how the internal boundary works. When your internal boundary is solid, you respond rather than react. When you’re trying to decide what to do about an issue, take a moment to think about how important it is to you. Rate it on a scale of 1-10, and use that to help you decide. If you rate something as a 7 or higher, you probably need to respond in some way, rather than letting it go. Highlights from Episode #18: Vicki introduces the topic (and the title) of today’s episode. [00:48] To illuminate the internal boundary and how it works, Vicki offers a simple example of what happened to her—internally—when she made the mundane realization that the spatula she wanted to use was in the dishwasher. [04:54] Vicki discusses Step 1 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution process, then returns to talking about the spatula incident. [13:28] When you experience something that you don't like (especially when it has to do with another person), most of us have a default toward either talking to the other person about it or letting it go. Take a moment and ask yourself what your default is. [17:34] Vicki talks about the expression, “would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?” [20:01] Vicki discussed the three options of what to do shen something another person does doesn’t work for you. [24:24] Links and Resources: Vicki Tidwell Palmer Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukov

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