100. the narcissist tried: horizontal with nine (guests, friends, a lovers)
This is THE 100TH EPISODE OF horizontal!!! Naturally, this one is a bit different than the others. In celebration, I am releasing a never-before-heard experimental episode, recorded on May 21st, 2019 — the 2 year anniversary of horizontal. In every other episode, I lie down with one or two people at a time. In this special, I lie down with 9! I gathered as many previous horizontal guests, patrons, and supporters as I could, and asked my boyfriend at the time to join us. We recorded at Hacienda Studio, the event space of Hacienda Villa, my intentional community. We had three beds and three microphones. None of us were sure how it would go. What would come up when the 9 of us tried to have one conversation? In this episode, I lie down with: Kristi Ann, spectacular dancer and movement artist, and my friend who, behind the scenes, has quietly helped me choose between the titles for my episodes. Mirelle, horizontal’s very first guest! Resident of the Villa, my housemate and friend, and, as you may recall, a consummate connoisseur of delight. Steve Dean, my friend the Superconnector, dating coach, dating industry consultant, and guest on episodes 82. 200 dating profiles, and 83. you do not have voting rights in this startup (relationship). Jillian Richardson, creator of The Joy List, author of Unlonely Planet, and my most recent horizontal guest on episodes 98. withhelds a unsaids, and 99. indiana jones is my father. This 100th episode interrupts my 4-episode arc with Jillian and Dennis, but they will be back next week, and the week after that, with episodes 101 a 102. Those episodes are available exclusively to patrons of the horizontal arts, so for more Jillian a Dennis, plus The Full Horizontal, which includes all the part twos (and in this case, threes and fours) going back to the beginning, become my patron on Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila — You’ll get all the independent, uncensored, sex-positive horizontality, and you’ll be a part of the mission that I share with Jillian: to make the world a less lonely, more intimate place. Also in this episode, we lie down with: Owen Muir, MD, my friend, is a child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist, half of the team behind Brooklyn Minds, and the audiophile who made the first season of horizontal possible, by somehow mixing a mastering every episode in the midst of fathering, psychiatrist-ing, and running a business that is changing the world of mental health. Tiana a Orion, my dear friends, poly partners, leaders in the POC (Person of Color) kink community in New York City, and my guests on their own 4-episode arc, episodes 78. surprise surprise he liked black chicks, 79. not gonna be the abusive guy, 80. definition of a primary partner, a 81. sneak attack group sex. These are some of the episodes I am the proudest to have made, and I’m ever-grateful for their bravery and generosity. Venus a Jason, who have been patrons of the podcast and delightful, avid participants in nearly every horizontal event I’ve produced, including the podcast launch pajama party, 14 Rooms (my immersive Valentine’s experience), The Art of Trust (my connection games workshop), and horizontal storytelling (a live recording of the quickies). And Patrick, Engineer, fixer of things, fearless explorer of self… my ex-boyfriend. In this episode, we do a round of “If you really knew me,” which is probably my favorite of all the intimacy games I lead, and then a round of Brags. We discuss the experiences that Jillian and I had with the man that we both dated, disassociation, novelty drive, feelings as puppies, healthy narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, emotions at 110%, opt-ins and opt-outs, normative dating behavior, and needing other minds to support us in not losing ours. Then we conclude with a round of gratitudes. This episode is unlike any other, because, with Owen present, we have the benefit of a psychiatrist’s insight. Happy 100 episodes to meeeeeee! If you have any ideas for else I might celebrate, reach out through the @horizontalwithlila Instagram or on horizontalwithlila.com This episode was recorded by Owen Muir, with mixing and mastering by Irving Gadhoury. Find Irving at IGrecording.com on the interwebs, to hire him for your Tri-State Area based audio needs. My cover art was created by Shana Shay, whom you can find on 99designs. And this episode features a remix of my original intro music by kidmental, an accapella beatbox musician. I first heard kid’s work on my favorite podcast, Ear Hustle, when he remixed their theme song. He creates theme songs for everyone, podcast or no, and you can snag one by becoming his patron on patreon.com/kidmental Next week we’ll pick back up with Dennis a Jillian in episode 101, part three of our conversation. To gain access to part three, in which we delve into Jillian’s household growing up, that incident with the vibrator, Dennis’s high school work as a peer-to-peer Sex Educator, his biological brothers, the topography of our friendship lives, and how Dennis used to rely entirely on his long-term relationship to get his intimacy needs met — become a patron of the horizontal arts! Until next time, dear ones, may you have someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. I’m looking forward to attending Samia’s anti-wedding, today! Samia, of episodes 59. i’m gonna fuck him forEVER and 60. consexual experiences, is getting married, wearing a skeleton catsuit. I’m gonna be their social media maven, so you better believe there’s gonna be loads of videos! Check my Instagram if you wanna see ‘em! If you haven’t yet, do me the honor of clicking the Subscribe button in your podcast player of choice. It makes a difference in my world. Thank you for listening. Thank you for inspiring me to make 100 episodes, and beyond. Thank you for getting horizontal. And now come lie down with all of us in Bushwick, Brooklyn.