70. tiger mom: horizontal with a recovering perfectionist
My name is Lila, and I love sleepovers, spooning, sharing, storytelling, sex, and stargazing, among other things. So I metaphorically rolled them up in audio form and called it a podcast. Horizontal with lila is Slow Radio. It’s intimacies of all kinds. It’s consensual eavesdropping. It’s us lying down right next to each other, wearing robes, sharing secrets, in your ears. Each horizontal session with a guest is between 2 and 3ish hours long, and divided into two episodes. Part ones, like this one, are available anywhere you get your podcasts, and part twos are available exclusively to patrons of the horizontal arts. As you might imagine, the part twos go deep, since we’ve been marinating in conversation for over an hour. And at the very very end, my guest tells me a story of some intimacy. For access to The Full Horizontal,go to Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila, and become a patron of $5 or more per month, because... Fair warning, horizontal lovers! When I launch Season 3, (and it is happening Soon) I’ll be shifting some things, revealing a couple of surprises, and revamping my Patreon tiers: If you’ve already become a patron, you’ll be grandfathered in with access to all the episodes and my gratitude for being an early listener. In this episode, recorded in a slender little apartment in Brooklyn, New York, I lie down with Lee. Lee is a Pleasure Guide: a Tantrika, a Bodyworker, an Intimacy Coach. She’s a Sensuality specialist. I first met Lee when she was working with a friend of mine at The Women of Venus (which you’ll hear about in part two, episode 71). I’ve been trying to get her to move in with us at Hacienda Villa for about a year now. When I’m around Lee, I feel warm and grounded. She is exceptionally supportive and clear-eyed, at the same time. Her belief in the version of me that I love the most, my favorite self, and my potential to embody that self and act beautifully on the world is like … an amulet that she has made by hand. She has her finger on the pulse of the Great Mystery, without being a prig about it. She’s a girl’s girl, a woman’s woman, with a generous dash of humility, and a fierce commitment to stand for her own growth, and for yours. For all of the information about Lee’s Intimacy and Pleasure Coaching practice, find her on LeeNoto.com This episode was recorded in Lee’s bed, in another part of Brooklyn, and though you are spared the trains screeching around the bend like they do when I record in my room, there’s a few sonic visitors: an old heating unit, a creaky ceiling that is someone else’s floor, some pretty raucous neighbors, and… a plane or two. City living. Local color. In this part of our conversation, we talk about slow-going sex and celibacy, plant medicine journeys and masturbation, objectifying yourself and faking orgasms, promiscuity as rebellious self-expression, pushing buttons just to know what they’re for, the glorious practice of bragging, a Tiger Mom, and driving herself to perfection so hard that her face paralyzed itself to get her attention. To see pictures from this recording session, and get behind-the-scenes access to horizontality and my sex-positive life, follow @horizontalwithlila on Instagram, and sign up for my missives on horizontalwithlila.com And now, come lie down with not one, but two recovering perfectionists, in Brooklyn, New York. *** Let me give some credit where credit is due: Chad Michael Snavely is my editor. He’s a podcast maven, and you can find his full roster on chadmichael.com. Alan Markley composed my intro music, and his exploits can be witnessed on Instagram as plasticcannons. Shana Shay created my cover art, and you can hire her for graphic design and character illustration on 99 Designs. In next week’s episode of horizontal, the second part of my conversation with Lee, episode 71, we discuss intentional masturbation, receiving oral sex, fantasies of auto-cunnilingus, giving yourself what you wish for a partner to give you, the indefinable mystery of tantra, red tantra, white tantra, urban tantra, a tantric temple called The Women of Venus, Mama Gena’s practices of Trinities, Swamping, and Spring Cleaning... And Lee a I do something unprecedented on the podcast, something I’ve never heard recorded anywhere else: we each do a Spring Clean on a topic we’re struggling with in real time, stream of consciousness style, and entirely unedited. I feel a little bit nervous to share it, actually, but that’s when I know I have something really worthwhile to reveal. Next week’s installment is available exclusively to my beloved patrons of the horizontal arts. Become one and get access to The Full Horizontal catalog on Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila On Saturday, March 16th, Lee is curating an event called Eating Out: an Erotic Feast inspired by oral sex. She calls it an Edible Education. For all the details, visit her at LeeNoto.com and sign up for her mailing list. On Thursday, March 28th, I’m leading The Art of Trust: an Intimacy Games Workshop. If you’ve seen any of the shots from my Intimacy Warriors photoshoots, you might have an inkling of what this workshop will be like. We’ll play games like Sphinx, Hot Seat, Human Conveyor Belt, and the Touch Gauntlet. Details coming soon. Until next week, may you have someone to love, something to do, and many things to look forward to! Thank you for getting horizontal.