57. fear of intimacy: horizontal with the love (drive) podcaster
Horizontal is a podcast of intimacies recorded while lying down. I’m really glad you’re here. You can think of it as consensual eavesdropping.Together, we’re making private conversations public, so that we can dispel shame, diminish loneliness, and alchemize human connection. If you’ve been horizontal for a while, you know that each conversation is about 2-3 hours long, and gets divided into two episodes, released a week apart (by popular demand). For instance, this is episode #57. Next week’s episode, #58. the love drive, will feature part two of my conversation with Shaun. As I said in the last couple of episodes, I’m making a big shift in the way horizontal is released, and it just went into effect on Wednesday. All the part twos have now disappeared from your apps (unless you downloaded them, as I suggested! Thanks for being an early adopter!). They are now gated, and available to patrons at $5 a month and up. This is my first serious step toward making this work a sustainable career path. I intend to untether myself from my bread-and-butter job and continue expanding the horizontality … into videos, books, a TV show. I have big big dreams to SPREAD INTIMACY ACROSS THE GLOBE. And you can help me happen it. Patreon is the love child of crowd-funding and a subscription service. As a $5 month patron, you’ll get a special RSS feed that you can add to your podcast player, and it gives you exclusive access to all the episodes, every part two, going back to the beginning. I’ve made a little video tutorial for it, in case the RSS is confusing. It’s available on my Patreon page. (See what I did there?) In this episode, I lie down in my bed in Bushwick, Brooklyn, with Shaun Galanos. I live in Hacienda Villa, a sex-positive intentional community, and, just like most places on the vanguard, our neighborhood is (still) fairly gritty. So be advised: Bushwick— is a very noisy place. Trains and sirens and construction and unidentifiable buzzings and whirrings… let’s just say, you’re definitely gonna hear some local color in this episode. We’ll call it...verite. Shaun Galanos is a 30something silver fox, a Canadian, an American, a 12-time burner, a dog dad, and the host of the podcast The Love Drive, which aims to make sex and love less awkward. He’s also a street performer who gives Free Love Advice. He sets up a sign and his recording kit all over the place, in public parks, at Burning Man, while waiting for transportation, and, before he got chased away for soliciting the customers, at the airport. Point yourself towards thelovedrive.com for everything Shaun (including that free advice he talks about). Shaun and I met on the interwebz and started flirting and brainstorming and podcast-conspiring on Instagram. He’s handsome and charming and skilled in cheeky banter. He makes cute videos in which he talks directly to camera, Ferris Bueller-style. He cares about intimacy! He’s single! So when he came to New York, naturally, we hopped into bed. But only to record. (More on that in the episodes.) In this first part of our conversation, we talk about cruising chat rooms and cybering, wizard sleeves and uncircumcised cocks, the pics of naked men that turn Shaun on, the pics of naked women that turn me on, self-voyeurism, check-ins, and our level of sexual attraction. If you want to hear the second part of our conversation, released next Friday, in which we discuss our pheremones, the hierarchy of relationships, touch-starvation, Old Spice, my breasts, and Shaun tells me a story about risky wedding sex, become a patron of the horizontal arts! And now, come lie down with us in Bushwick, Brooklyn. (whispers) We’re naked. Let’s do the credits! Chad Michael Snavely is my editor and a podcast maven. He has a slew of podcasts you can check out on chadmichael.com. Shana Shay is my illustrator and graphic designer. She specializes in good-looking character illustrations from photographs, like the one you see in my podcast cover art. Hire her through 99designs. Alan Markley is a rock star touring musician, and he created my intro music (with a little bit of sex vox from me - those are the breathy sounds). Find him on Instagram as plasticcannons. Shaun and I also got vertical together. We recorded episode 28 of The Love Drive: how to get invited to a play party in Shaun’s borrowed apartment in Williamsburg. (Despite the title, I make no promises.) But if you’re curious about what a Hacienda sex party is like, well, darlin’, we made you an episode. At the end of that recording, Shaun asked me if I had a parting thought. I said all I could think of was the E.M. Forster quote, “Only connect.” I don’t think that we will regret any of the time we’ve spent trying to connect with other humans. What I mean is: the time we spent cultivating intimacy in our lives is time worth spending. It is among the worthiest of pursuits. So thank you, thank you for getting horizontal with us. To listen to the rest of our conversation, as we unpack our own challenges getting intimate with each other: Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila Until next week, I wish you someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.