With Amber Grubenmann: How Sex Impacts The How to Go From Dating to Exclusive Formula

Marni welcomes fellow podcast dating host Amber Grubenmann to the Life Check Yourself studio. Amber is the creator of the highly-rated Women’s Dating and Confidence Podcast plus she helps ladies go from just dating to exclusive through her coaching programs.

Key takeaways from this episode:

Why women have sex before they are ready
Tips for creating a long-term, meaningful relationship
Exploring your inner sexiness
Men’s expectations around sex

Set the Stage for the Type of Relationship You Want [1:50]

Amber shares some of the most common comments she hears from the women she works with about their mindset around why they have had sex early in a relationship or when they may not be ready:

If he has sex with me it means he likes me.
I need to show him how good it is.
If he doesn’t get it from me, he’s going to get it from someone else.
I need to see if we are sexually compatible.
If I don’t have sex with him, I will disappoint him.

Amber tells her clients that if they want to go from dating to exclusive, to introduce sex once they feel confident and secure in a relationship.

There are things you can do in dating that increase the probability of a certain type of relationship.

How to Cultivate the Right Mindset [10:28]

Relationships are a human need and men really want them. Taking the time in the early stages of a relationship to see if a man has the emotional qualities you are looking for will give you the opportunity to explore the sexual connection.

Clarifying your intentions can make the relationship road smoother throughout the entire journey. So explore the person you are dating through conversation. If a relationship starts to feel amazing and you don’t have the conversation, the guy may not be on the same page.

To get what you want, you have to talk about it and ask for it.

Bringing Sexy Back [18:02]

Everyone wants to feel sexy. But, often we have things that hold us back from feeling fully into our sexuality. Amber offers some tips women can use to get comfortable with their bodies and their sexuality.

Have a self-pleasure practice to learn what you like and what turns you on.
Consider what are the factors that allow you to enhance or disrupt your feeling sexual? What factors allow your nervous system to relax?

Inner sexiness is unconditional and different for all of us.

Many women believe that men have certain expectations around sex because some have felt the pressure to have sex at some point in their lives. But, sex will never create security in a connection. So, if you are looking for a long-term commitment, leading with sex doesn’t give you the emotional security you need for long-term happiness.

If you want a meaningful relationship, don’t treat it casually.

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