130. You Get What You Expect (+ some thoughts on raising teens)
So many of us have a tendency to proclaim negativity rather than positivity over our lives, and Jesse and I discuss in this episode why we should stop doing that and how. Having recently visited a friend who, along with her husband, is fostering children, I realized that our habit of proclaiming negativity over our lives is what I wanted to talk about in this episode. My friend was talking about how much she loves raising little ones but was concerned because of warnings that she has received from others to enjoy it while it lasts because she isn't going to be having as much fun when they are teenagers. Being a mother of teens myself, I authentically shared with her that I actually love raising teens!
So many young mothers tend to dread the future – dread the day when their little ones become teenagers, and that's because of the pervasively negative perception surrounding what it's like to raise (a) teenager(s), as if it's a guaranteed given that it's going to be a terrible experience. Jesse and I talk about the importance of looking at things positively because our perceptions can sometimes shape our realities. Your experiences start at the beginning because you get what you expect! Your attitude will shape what kind of experience you have, and no matter how many difficulties that are present in our lives, there is always something for which to be grateful!
Yes, some days of our children's teenage years will be difficult for both you and them. Yes, they will have emotional outbursts, but I encourage you to think back to your teenage years. Didn't you? Children and teenagers are sometimes dealing with very difficult situations that they aren't properly processing or sharing, so use things like emotional outbursts as opportunities to lean in to your children and listen to them. Use them as learning experiences for both you and them, and this applies to all aspects of and relationships in our lives! Pay attention to what you're thinking and what you're saying and acknowledge where you're allowing negativity to cloud your perception. Instead focusing on positivity will make a world of difference!
In This Episode:
[0:32] – I have been posting one photo per hour to my Instagram page in order to document my day.
[2:04] – I share that I participated in a radio interview recently.
[4:26] – Jesse and I talk about why we don't do our podcast as a live video stream.
[5:28] – Today's topic is about why you should proclaim positivity over your life.
[6:54] – I refer back to an old episode of the podcast about courtship.
[8:23] – What's saving my life this week is writing out lists for our kids.
[10:07] – I explain what kinds of lists I wrote out in the past.
[11:41] – Jesse reveals that he joined a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu gym.
[14:47] – I have been listening to the audiobook The Orphan's Tale by Pam Jenoff.
[17:24] – I talked last week about The Woman with the Blue Star, which is also by Pam Jenoff.
[18:47] – Jesse has been playing a lot of sudoku lately.
[20:19] – I elaborate upon where the idea to talk about no longer proclaiming negativity came from.
[22:34] – So many young mothers fear their little ones becoming teens.
[23:53] – You get what you expect out of life!
[26:12] – The opportunity to see our children becoming adults is exciting and is a learning experience for everyone.
[28:11] – One of our kids recently experienced an emotional outburst, and I share how I chose to respond to that.
[30:12] – Parenting is about leaning in and loving your kids, as I discuss in my book.
[31:19] – Start proclaiming positivity in your life!
Links and Resources:
crystal@moneysavingmom.com
Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group
FaithTalk Live with Rick & Dan with special guest Crystal Paine
The Crystal Paine Show - “Courtship Rules and Our First Kiss”