How could you love AND Cheat on me? — Part 2

In this week’s episode, Dr. Rob shares part 2 of a webinar he did about addiction, relationship healing, low-self esteem, the power of denial, and so much more. When Dr. Rob was at the height of his addiction, he felt terrible all the time. He felt ashamed, he was suffering from depression, and he was wondering why. Despite this, he never wanted to pin his depression on his addictions. He was looking for every excuse in the book to not live a life of integrity. Addicts love to live in their own fantasy and will do everything they can, blame anyone they can, to keep that ruse up. Healthy people live in their reality and realize ‘Oops, that hurts me. I need to stop’, and they do! Dr. Rob talks about how to wake up and start living in reality again.

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:30] The breaking of trust is what destroys our spouses.

[4:00] A healthy person recognizes their reality and changes their bad actions. Addicts blame reality because it means they can keep living in their fantasy and in their addiction. They choose to blame reality for their bad actions.

[7:40] Addicts shift their focus to, “How can I keep doing what I’m doing and get away with it?”

[8:10] At the height of Dr. Rob’s addiction, he wondered why he was so depressed all the time. It was because he was having sex with strangers who he had no connection with!

[10:30] Dr. Rob realized he had been running away from home his whole life. Yet home was what he deeply wanted!

[13:00] Let’s talk about plate spinning.

[13:55] We live in our own lies.

[18:00] How do addicts compartmentalize their lives so well?

[19:50] What is the true path to happiness?

[23:25] Dr. Rob answers a listener's question about compartmentalization.

[25:25] Dr. Rob answers another question. “I feel like being real with my spouse is hurting more than helping.”

 

RESOURCES:

The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’?

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101 

Seeking Integrity

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men 

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency

Dr. Rob Guest Lecture on Sex and Relationship Healing

 

QUOTES:

  • “We make bad decisions because we’re not facing our choices in reality.”
  • “Reality wins. It will eventually catch up to you.”
  • “We are more vulnerable than most men. We think we’re stronger, but we’re not. We run away from our reality.”

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