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SISTAAAAAS! Grab your Roombas, we fly! This week, Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida) hang out with one of the stars of HBO Max’s FBOY Island Season 2, Mia Emani Jones (@_miaemani), to talk about Hocus Pocus 2 for a very special Halloween episode. We were lucky to be Mia’s first interview post coming out, so we spent some time talking about her journey. FBOY Island is a wild place to be while experiencing that ‘I really don’t like men’ revelation and yet, it is somewhat shocking that more contestants haven’t come out as gay. If anything was going to put someone off men, it would be FBOY Island. We could spend hours talking to Mia about her journey, but we are here to talk about Hocus Pocus 2! It has been 29 years since the Sanderson Sisters blessed our screens and yet there still aren’t any canonically gay main characters! This feels like a huge missed opportunity, considering there already is a sequel to Hocus Pocus in book form that is 100% gay. Instead of giving us a story about Max and Allison’s gay daughter like the book did, Hocus Pocus 2 goes in a different direction and brings in brand new characters not related to the original movie. From the second we meet Becca, Izzy, and Cassie it is extremely obvious that they are all baby gays. They are going through a difficult friend breakup, because Cassie decided to date some lame boy in a complete betrayal of her obvious throuple situation with Izzy and Becca. These girls have spent every Halloween night charging crystals in the woods and we are supposed to believe they are straight? Cassie has been attempting to mend the friendship, but Becca is too disgusted by the mere existence of Cassie’s boyfriend to be anywhere near her. That’s lesbian ex behavior and we are here for it. Moving on from the throuple, the movie opens onto Fear Street 3 where we see tiny baby dyke Winifred Sanderson absolutely losing her mind at the idea of being made to marry a man. She has a full blown meltdown, immediately bearding up by calling out her relationship with Billy Butcherson, who she literally only kissed once and who completely hates her guts. The girls run off into the woods to escape the heteronormative patriarchy and meet Mother Witch, who Winnie becomes instantly enamored with. The baby Sanderson Sisters spend a total of maybe ten minutes talking to this powerful lesbian milf in the woods and in true baby gay fashion decide they live there now and will be following in the hot older witch’s footsteps. We fast forward to present day and meet Gilbert, a gay man obsessed with the Sanderson Sisters and intent on using Becca and her friends to bring them back to life. It’s hard for Gilbert to see through the glamor and the intrigue of the witches, but in the end he does the right thing and chooses his new boyfriend Billy Butcherson over his love of the Sandersons. When we get into talking about the Sanderson Sisters themselves, the obvious gay is Winnie. While we may not be completely sure about the sexuality of Mary or Sarah, we are 1000% convinced that Winifred Sanderson is a whole dyke. She is extremely over the top 24/7, maintains her story about her beard Billy for centuries out of spite, dedicates her life to being a witch because a hot lady in the woods told her she was special, and cannot resist turning every scene she can into a musical number. Plus, as we’ve said countless times before, witches are inherently gay. It should be impossible for a movie like Hocus Pocus 2 to not be gay, because witchcraft is gay; and yet, Disney is determined to keep its witches in the broomcloset. We know one thing for sure, Hocus Pocus 2 Should’ve Been Gay. Follow along on Twitter: Lez Hang Out (@lezhangoutpod) and answer our Q & Gay at the end of every episode. Leigh Holmes Foster (@lshfoster) and Ellie Brigida (@elliebrigida). You can also join us on Facebook.com/lezhangoutpod and follow along on Instagram (@lezhangoutpod).

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