ERP 066: How to move out of criticism into love a appreciation With Kathlyn Hendricks
Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D., BC-DMT*, is an evolutionary catalyst and contextual disruptor. She has been a pioneer in the field of body intelligence and conscious loving for over forty years. Katie has an international reputation as a seminar leader, training professionals from many fields in the core skills of conscious living: authenticity, response-ability and appreciation. She is the co-author of twelve books, including the best-selling Conscious Loving, At The Speed of Life and the new Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationship at Midlife and Beyond. Katie has been a successful entrepreneur for over forty years and has developed a unique coaching and leadership program that has trained hundreds of coaches in the U.S. and Europe. She co-founded the Spiritual Cinema Circle and the virtual Body Intelligence Summit, which will move into its third year in 2016. She has appeared on over 500 radio and television programs and traveled well over one million air miles as the ambassador for the work that she and her husband Gay Hendricks have developed. * Kathlyn earned a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology and has been a Board Certified-Dance/Movement Therapist of the American Dance Therapy Association since 1975. In this episode, Kathlyn Hendricks talks with us about how criticism and blame get in the way of true intimacy in relationship. She offers perspective on the damaging cycle of criticism between partners. She gives us some important keys into shifting out of criticism. She also provides some valuable tips about how to create change in your relationship even if your partner is not on the same page. Katie helps us look at what is possible when you end criticism and blame in your relationship. KEY POINTS TO CONSIDER: Blame and criticism are the number one relationship killers, as they are the reason why most people leave their close relationships. Criticism creates a sense of shrinking away and distancing response in the person being criticized. Criticism erodes at the positive bond and connection in relationship. Criticism almost always comes from a fearful place: the experience of “I am scared of something, and I look over and I think it is you that is making me scared.” Criticism creates a fear and adrenal cycle that keeps partner’s hooked in a negative loop and prevent them from creating intimacy. The only thing to do with criticism is to stop it, by making a commitment to end criticism and blame. It is important to see criticism as a defensive move and look at the underlying experience. By committing to stop criticism and blame, partner’s make room for genuine appreciation, support, and giving and receiving quality attention. In each moment, we have a choice in relationship, to either expand in learning and authenticity or close up in protection. We can’t do both. Be sure to listen to the podcast episode to hear more valuable tips, as well as how to specifically move out of a critical stance. MENTIONED: Conscious Loving Ever After: How to Create Thriving Relationships at Midlife and Beyond, by Gay a Kathlyn Hendricks (book) Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment, by Gay a Kathlyn Hendricks (book) Conscious Loving 5 video series, by Gay a Kathlyn Hendricks (videos on website) Foundation For Conscious Living (website) Hendricks (website) Hendrick’s Trainings (website) Hearts In Harmony (Facebook page) PROGRAM: HOW TO TURN CRITICISM INTO LOVING COMMUNICATION REGISTER HERE. TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 066: How To Move Out Of Criticism Into Love a Appreciation If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for your interest about criticism in romantic relationships. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.