Why Don't We Get Better?
This is the podcast’s five-year anniversary, and over that time I’ve submerged myself in psychology, self-help, and personal growth content - and as a result I’ve changed in many important ways. At the same time, some things have been very hard to change. It's surprising how even after learning so much I still often feel like I’m pushing the same old rocks up the same old hills.
On today’s episode I’m joined by Dr. Rick Hanson to explore why we struggle to get better, how much change is realistically possible, what makes real change hard, the hidden barriers to lasting change, and what we can do to overcome them.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:55: Why do you want to change?
4:50: Four fundamental strategies
7:00: Three common issues
9:20: Effort, skillfulness, and luck
12:40: People’s autonomy about whether they want to change or not
13:50: “Tailwinds” to help yourself
17:30: Secondary gains, avoiding change, and naming payoffs and costs
24:15: Levity and affection for yourself
27:15: Starting by owning that we choose our behavior
30:10: Resistance and the parts of us that don’t want to change
34:00: Framing, starting with benefits, and absolving shame
39:35: Tactics vs. Strategies
42:30: Celebrating small change, aiming for big healing
46:40: Recap
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Sponsors:
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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