How to Navigate Common Arguments
All of our relationships include some conflict, the big question is how skillfully we handle that conflict when it appears. Dr. Rick Hanson joins Forrest to walk us through some effective ways to deal with common forms of interpersonal conflict. They explore the four common disagreements, the subtle ways power shows up in our relationships, separating content from process, and how to stand your ground.
The material from this episode comes in part from Rick’s new book Making Great Relationships: Simple Practices for Solving Conflicts, Building Connection, and Fostering Love. You can find it wherever books are sold.
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Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and Rick’s new book
1:25: Common conflicts Rick has seen in couples counseling
3:40: The importance of the way something is said
8:10: Disentangling tone from content
9:45: Distinguishing intent from impact
12:10: The unconscious functions of conflict
17:50: Navigating differences in temperament, and cultivating enthusiasm
25:05: Power tripping, control, and misinterpretation
29:50: Primate politics, escalation, and identifying what’s really happening
35:45: Trust
39:15: How much are we willing to tolerate?
41:10: Dealing with entitlement, and when to push back
43:40: Peoples’ capacity to change, balancing harmony and truth
46:10: Focus on communicating for yourself
49:05: Recap
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