244. How To Be Awesome At Not Getting Offended

A lot of the podcast episode topics I choose are things that I am personally trying to become more awesome at. 
 
Things I haven’t mastered and it’s a work in progress and I want to learn more and do better and share what I’ve learned
 
Every now and then there’s a podcast topic, that I can humbly and confidently say I’ve got it. This is one of those. 
 
How to be awesome at not being easily offended. 
 
It is so hard to actually offend me. It’s kind of crazy to think about. 
 
Today we are diving into what it actually takes to not be offended by things that people say to you or situations that are outside your control. Often times we are assuming or projecting or making something small into something big.
 
By not being easily offended, you free up so much mental bandwidth and you save yourself so much stress and agony. 
 
A big part of this is believing people when they show you who they are.  And then adjust your relationship if you need to.  If you are close to someone who is constantly offending you… do you need to do some inner work so you aren’t taking things offensively OR do you need to put a little distance between you and them? 
 
I think not being offended is a superpower because you have the confidence to know that when things go sideways, you can brush it off and move on because that leaves you feeling awesome instead of shitty! no brainer right? 
 
-Question for you - if you see a party that you weren’t invited to- but some of your friends were- are you offended? 
Or do you look at all sides of it? 
 
-Also- put space between you and people who make you feel offended! 
A big part of this is believing people when they show you who they are.  And then adjust your relationship if you need to.  If you are close to someone who is constantly offending you… do you need to do some inner work so you aren’t taking things offensively OR do you need to put a little distance between you and them? 
 
-Here’s the thing- I know that I wake up everyday and do my best to be a kind and considerate human and just do the best I can with everything I do. I make mistakes and miss the mark sometimes but I know that I’m an awesome person at my core. 
 
-2 ways we often feel offended….
  1. --Someone is directly rude or hurtful
    --Something happens and we create a story about it that may or may not be true.
     
     
    -It’s rarely about you!
    Almost nothing is actually personal.
     
    -When someone is someone being critical of you or is hurtful or talks down to you… It is often about them!
     
     
    -They could be feeling vulnerable or insecure or unhappy or jealous…. When people are struggling they often try to boost themselves up by putting you down.
    They are taking their stuff out on you.
     
    -You’ve probably heard the saying…
    Only hurt people, hurt people.
     
    -When we feel good about ourselves, we don’t go around trying to belittle others or be mean. It’s usually when people are hurting themselves.
     
    -Be able to ask yourself… is there any truth to this?
    Take a second and ask yourself if you did something that came across in that way?
    Be mature and not defensive… even if their delivery sucked.
    Maybe you’ll be like ok… I could have handled that a bit better- I see how it could have been taken like that.
    Or not, and then you let it go.
     
     
    -The KEY to mastering this… is knowing yourself.
    Be self aware!
    I know myself well and this isn’t aligned.
     
     
    Final on how not to be offended: 
    1. Practice empathy!
      Put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to understand their perspective.
       
    2. Laugh it off! 
      Being able to laugh at yourself and the world around you can help you see the lighter side of things and not take things so seriously.
       
    3. Let it go!
      Holding onto grudges and resentments can be exhausting and can make it easier for you to feel offended. 
      Try to let go of negative emotions and focus on the positive aspects of your life.
       
    4. Communicate! In an open and honest way!  
      If something someone says or does bothers you, it's important to communicate your feelings in a constructive way. By expressing yourself in a respectful and honest manner, you can help prevent misunderstandings and build stronger relationships.
       
    5. Be super self-aware! 
      This can help you recognize when you are feeling offended and why. What truth is here? What do I need to let go of?
       
       
      It’s a serious superpower and leads to happier days, weeks and months!
       
       
       
      CHEERS TO FEELING LIGHTER & HAPPIER BY NOT GETTING EASILY OFFENDED!

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