#136 - When Someone You Love Is in Danger
People in your life may be facing a variety of dangers, from mental health issues or suicidal urges to addiction or unsafe behavior. But today, I’ll focus on a specific type of danger: physically or sexually abusive relationships. It’s painful to know (or suspect) that a loved one is in a relationship like this, but it’s also tough to know what to do. I’ll give you some specific advice on how to proceed—and what to avoid doing. Biggest Takeaways From Episode #136: Here are some things to do when your loved one is in an abusive relationship: Express concern and your willingness to help. Give them a way to alert you that you need to call the police or help them get out of the situation. Call the police if you know or have very good reason to believe that your loved one is in danger. Don’t hesitate; just do it! Send your loved one healing energy, thoughts, and/or prayers. Ask yourself whether what you’re planning to do might put this person in danger. There are also some things you should avoid doing in these circumstances: Don’t communicate in writing about their relationship or safety issues (unless it’s a time-sensitive emergency). Don’t suggest that the person in an abusive relationship should go to couple’s therapy. Don’t confront or agitate the abuser. Don’t judge your loved one who is being abused. Be aware that the most dangerous time for an abused person is right after they leave their abuser. The abused person should go to a domestic violence shelter (rather than a loved one’s house) when they leave, because the shelter will have resources to help. Highlights from Episode #136: Welcome to episode 136! Let’s talk about what to do in terms of your boundaries when someone you love is in a specific kind of danger. [00:39] Vicki starts things off by sharing some statistics from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. [04:47] What are some things you should not do when you’re dealing with someone facing domestic violence? [07:20] Vicki talks about the most dangerous time for someone leaving an abusive relationship. [12:42] We learn some things that you can or should do in this type of situation. [15:24] Vicki shares a resource: the National Domestic Violence Hotline. You can call or text them at (800) 799-7233. [21:35] What if someone you love doesn’t want to talk about it? [22:35] Links and Resources: Vicki’s monthly Boundaries Clarifier Workshops Vicki Tidwell Palmer Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Facebook Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Instagram The Radiant Threefold Path Beyond Bitchy on Spotify National Coalition Against Domestic Violence The National Domestic Violence Hotline - or call or text them at (800) 799-7233