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I often talk about suicide like it’s a statistic—the fact that it was the leading cause of death for teenage boys in Canada in 2018, for example; that rates of suicide attempts among trans youth are as high as 78%; that 70% of mental heatlh problems begin in childhood or adolescence.   Suicide is more than numbers. It’s a difficult and ongoing thing that I face in my conversations with young people, and it’s personal. I wanted to write something for World Suicide Prevention Day, but it was hard.  This whole thing is hard. In the end, that’s what made me decide to record this. It’s messy. It has broken edges and a slam poem that I wrote in a single night five years ago. But it’s my effort at saying something worth saying. If you are in crisis, Kids Help Phone is accessible and anonymous 24/7 at 1-800-668-6868, text CONNECT to 686868 or live chat at kidshelpphone.ca. 911 for emergencies. LINKS If you thought this piece was worthwhile, support it on Patreon . Email breakingtheboycode@gmail.com to get in touch. Connect with @boypodcast on all mainstream social media. Follow the publication on Medium for more writing and the blog on Tumblr for more masculinity research and occasional podcast-related updates. Supported by Next Gen Men .