Part 2: Couples, Conflict and Resolution with Dr. Stan Tatkin
Dr. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a clinician, researcher, teacher, and developer of A Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® (PACT). He has a clinical practice in Calabasas, CA, and developed the PACT Institute for the purpose of training other psychotherapists to use this method in their clinical practice. In this episode, Dr. Stan discusses the 5 things that break a relationship apart, how to recover from a betrayal, and how to live a pro-relationship life.
TAKEAWAYS:
[1:45] How do you recover from a betrayal?
[6:00] In a society, we are forced to grow up for the betterment of our tribe.
[7:25] What do couples complain the most about?
[11:25] People will commit the same mistakes over and over because they don’t understand the internal errors that they’re making.
[15:25] What happens if you’re stuck in a relationship ‘role’ that you don’t like?
[18:20] What does it mean to be pro-relationship?
[20:35] Your attachment needs are not rooted in love. Dr. Stan explains why.
[26:00] Want to know more about Dr. Stan? Link in the show notes!
RESOURCES:
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss
In Each Other’s Care by Dr. Stan Tatkin
QUOTES:
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“There are cultures where it’s emphatically insistent and people do grow up because the culture demands that you operate with each other.”
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“We do the same things that mess up relationships, no matter what kind of relationships they are, and we always will if we don’t understand our nature.”
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“Everything I am talking about is inline with being selfish. Being pro-relationship is being pro-self. They are one and the same.”