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Our self-esteem can take a beating during our divorce. The sense that we’ve lost part of ourselves, the pity of others and feeling like a failure all contribute to it.  The good news is, self-esteem is something that can be rebuilt and it’s in our control. The aftermath of a divorce is a great opportunity to reclaim parts of ourselves that we compromised, sacrificed and lost in our marriage! But we need to commit to releasing our past to do that.  How do we remind ourselves of our value, and begin to feel good about ourselves again? In this episode, I share how to get self-esteem back after divorce knocks it down.    If you stay stuck in reliving and clinging to what is no longer your reality, you won’t see the correct path to the next chapter of your life. -Wendy Sterling    3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode    Change your focus to raise your self-esteem Negative thoughts come from us trying to drive forward while looking in the rearview mirror. If we keep shedding light on the negatives, we end up defining ourselves by them.    Understand how divorce can shake your identityBeing in a couple can make us build our identity around the relationship, and see ourselves in relation to someone else or the role we played in our marriage. When that goes away, it shakes our self-esteem.    The more we chase perfection, the lower our self-esteem becomes Perfection creates misery and feelings of failure, and trying to attain it destroys our self-esteem. When we say that we “should” or “must”, we get caught in the trap of believing there’s a better way to do something, and that our way is wrong.