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Do not make Assumptions! An assumption is when we don't know the answer to something, so we formulate an answer in our mind. Making assumptions and taking things personally account for the overwhelming majority of suffering and drama we experience in our lives. In this episode, I continue the teachings from the book, The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, with the 3rd Agreement: Don't make assumptions! Show outline: The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz Be impeccable with your word Don't take anything personally Don't make assumptions Always do your best Not All of Your Thoughts Are True It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so. — Mark Twain So often we construct elaborate stories in our minds, complete with elaborate emotions, around a "truth" that we constructed or was told us that we accepted as "truth" that simply isn't true We made an assumption and called it "truth" The 3rd Agreement - Don't Make Assumptions This one issue, combined with taking things personally, create well over 90% of our problems - both personally and socially An assumption is when we don't know the answer to something, so we formulate an answer in our mind That formulation is based on all of the beliefs, mindsets, interactions, education we have experienced from our birth up that this moment in time. Because we have become so comfortable with who we are and what we think, we believe that our assumption is the truth. We make assumptions about everything--why people do or say what they do, what they are thinking Assume our assumption is truth and we take it personally We react based on our assumption and that can cause us to send emotional poison to them, which they may take personally, which creates a never ending cycle. We create a whole big drama for nothing The overwhelming majority of your sadness and drama you have experienced in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally Stop a minute to consider this statement We create and spread so much emotional poison because we usually start gossiping about our assumptions We make assumptions We believe we are right about our assumptions We defend our assumptions We try to make someone else wrong because we believe our assumption is right Assumptions set us up for suffering and creates so much chaos and causes us to misinterpret things We only see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear We don't perceive things the way they are We have a habit of dreaming with no basis in reality When we learn our dream was not real, our bubble is burst and we suffer Think about some assumptions that are easy to make You see someone you think is attractive, you smile; he/she smiles back You assume that person finds you attractive You start to fantasize a relationship A whole dream of a relationship and a life together can be created simply because someone smiled at you Social media is a very dangerous place for this Someone you don't know responds playfully or just nicely to a tweet You assume that person wants a real relationship A dream begins to form that has no basis in reality Assumptions in relationships create so much tension We assume our partner knows what we want without us saying it We assume just because our partner like something one time, they want more of it When our partner doesn't do what we want or responds differently that we assumed, we take it personally and get our feelings hurt Many people get married based on assumptions After the honeymoon is over and we learn our assumption was wrong, we are crushed We want so much to believe the truth of our assumption that we are afraid to come right out and ask our partner Our fear keeps us trapped from ever knowing the truth so we make new assumptions, which create new traps