WALK ON ALL FOURS: CODE IN DOG by Andrei Codrescu

Production and Sound Design by Kevin Seaman   I remember walking out of the ocean. What struggle!Millions of mollusk years and shell games that hurt.I remember getting up from all fours and looking downon all my astonished variously shaped former friends.Not one of them wanted to look up at me now I was up.Bipedal and lonely until there were a bunch of others.I remember the first scene in 2001 where I killed another.I remember that every time I bent down to be closerto the busy world of things that crawled loped or burrowedI was condescending and they moved away from me.I remember towering over everything that wasn’t me.I remember the day I howled in pain because my back gave out.That was the day I knew my body was weakly hingedat the place where it first stood up, and I wanted down again.Lord, help me walk on all fours again. I know that it’s late.We only grow taller now like the towers we can’t stop building.Since we got language not one nonhuman creature deignsto speak to us though we pretend in vain to understand them.Animals find it more understandable when we shoot themthen when we kneel down and pretend we are their friends.We do kneel down often to pray not to commune but praythat we won’t suffer from the back pain that is our sign of Cain.I remember that I can still return to water and do flipsbut I’m in charge now of all the things I covered over.I remember kneeling to gods who were so tall I couldn’t see them.Their heads were in the clouds, we barely reached their sandals.Even the mono god was so tall he dropped the tablets on Mosesand made lightning to scare us all to the death we knew was coming.In the little world I live in I sell diminishment at one dollar an inchand practice quadripedal yoga every morning in my living roomhoping to walk one day into the street with my quadripedal brood.It will be the day of no pain and of trading language for nozzling.If we succeed it won’t be so hard to hope that learning screens hurtsless than when we first left the ocean, equally pushed by hubris.Our new weak spot is memory. A bad back and a lousy memorymay smooth our way to becoming humble and wild again and good.

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