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“Deaf U” star Alexa Paulay-Simmons gets candid about who she is (and always has been) as a sexual person, and how that’s shaped her life—both on the inside through her choices and experiences, and on the outside with the tight-knit Deaf community and the show’s global audience.

Alexa is a 24-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, straight, monogamous, with a sporty body. She was featured in the Netflix series “Deaf U”. At the time of this broadcast, she is dating fellow Deaf U cast member Braxton.

BOOKMARK MOMENTS:

• Alexa shares her first memory of sexual pleasure and asking her mom questions at age 6 or 7.
• Alexa finally has good sex—with someone she can give instructions to.
• She talks about how it can be awkward to use your hands for dual purposes—talking and pleasing—during sex.
• Daddy issues: Alexa struggles with game-playing, distancing herself, and a lack of communication with her sexual partners. With self-awareness, she chose to develop healthier habits.
• Leah and Alexa discuss the conversation on Deaf U around the unintended pregnancy, and consent (especially around ejaculating inside a woman). Alexa talks about power imbalances and ignored communication in the relationship, and how his wants began to supersede her needs.
• Alexa’s current relationship is full of communication and thereby trust.
• She shares how the Deaf community has responded to (and judged) her openness about sex.
• Her father is less than thrilled.
• Vaginismus is discussed; lubricant is your friend. (If it still hurts even with lube, it’s a good idea to get it checked out.)

THE LOWDOWN:

• What’s the approximate number of sex partners you’ve had?
• What are your hard red lines, things that you won’t do?
• What belief did you have about sex as a child that you wish you could go back and correct her on now?
• Are there any other things that you’d like to clear up, anything else you’d like to say about how you were portrayed in the show?

Don’t forget – as of July 2020 ALL audio extras are FREE at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex!

I've done this because there are people who need this material but don't have the financial means to access it behind a paywall.

But there are many costs associated with producing this show, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Our American Sign Language interpreter for this episode is Courtney Farbman.

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EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Special thanks - Liz Zirk

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak