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If you’re in between your twenties and thirties you’ve probably experiencing a lot of problems in your life. I deal with it too. Wether it’s not knowing your purpose, terrible transitions, anxiety, or just feeling not good enough. So you’re not alone, I’ve been there. There’s ways to overcome and realize its not as you think it’ll be. There’s questions you’re probably asking like: is this the correct career path for me, I shouldn’t have changed paths in college, will ever be happy in my career? The average person now jumps job to job every 2 years or so. It can be anywhere between retail, to IT, to security, to carpentry, etc. Maybe you’re living alone for the time, maybe fulling supporting yourself as well. Despite all that you’re probably getting hearing all sorts of things from society. What ‘millennials’ are doing these days. What aren’t they doing. Why aren’t they buying ______?. It’s hard to be yourself when everyone groups you into a box. It’s also hard to transition to your own self which leads to the imposter syndrome problem. Some never feel like they ever transition into adulthood. What Psychologists Say About The Quarter-Life Crisis In the study titled Emerging Adulthood, early adulthood and quarter life crisis by Dr. Oliver Robinson at the University of Greenwich, He broke it down into 5 phases. Phase 1: You’re living on autopilot mode without freedom of your choices such as career and relationships. Phase 2: You have an urge to get out of this situation if you take action. Phase 3: You can quit everything that is making you feel stuck and then reevaluate what you want out of your life. Phase 4: You begin rebuilding your life. Phase 5: You have more commitments that are more relevant to the goals you want. Most actually get through it being better than ever before. It’s that the period of not knowing what you want or where you’re going that makes it so difficult. It’s as almost we go through a natural state of depression as what we thought adulthood would be like in our college days and how they actually are. Or you may have settled yourself up for disappointment for having idealistic goals. Even successful people has had similar problems. Even your own parents in one way. It really does help to talk to people about and realize that you’re not alone. Many people go through it and maybe not admit it or show it, but they do. We get a perception of feeling like we’re falling behind when really everyone was once in the same spot. Talking to people about your problems is a team effort. It’s why it’s important to have a mentor outside of your work and can be honest about. If many, many others have gone through this so can you. Use This Method to Work On Your Emotional Intelligence When it comes to understanding the biggest problem isn’t the surroundings but actually within ourselves. That said the best way to get over it is to improve yourself as a person and what stresses you out. The benefits of emotional intelligence help greatly in exceeding this. Even the Psychological Perspectives journal entries say this is the most used skill in overcoming this problem. It’s all about reacting to things you don’t have control over and controlling what you can which are always your emotions. Now being able to really control your emotions usually comes with age and experience. But you can also manually learn it just like any other skill have it faster. Reasons why I started The One Step Journal is to find out what problems you were having and how you feel about them every day. Writing about your problems are scientifically proven to make you feel better. Be aware of the words you use. Be real with yourself about them. Maybe you’ll find out your problems aren’t really that bad. Especially if they’re like annoyances rather than setbacks. We’re actually more than our emotions. There’s no way to really skip over these problems as you would have to skip time. What you can do is work on what’s bothering you first. So before you make a gigantic change in your life, look into how you can make the most of it so far. If the career you’re in isn’t for you then you can always start a side hobby that can utilize what you need. That’s how this podcast started so it does work. It also helps you figure out if it’s really for you. The thing about jumping into a new path so you may not know if it’s going work out either. That’s why it’s best to start slowly. Even with relationships don’t always think the grass is greener. It can make things worse. Fixing existing problems instead of starting over might be better in the long run. When in a life of transition, you need to be real with your expectations. You can’t fix anything instantly - so be patient. Don’t feel like some big opportunity is going in your email or knocking on your door one day. That isn’t going to happen. The transition to adulthood isn’t easy but it’s manageable and possible to overcome because everyone else did. Don’t feel any less of yourself because you will become a better person because of it.