SC 20 - Conflict Is Good News - Diane Musho Hamilton

I really enjoyed this conversation with Zen teacher Diane Hamilton. She brings such a genuine willingness to move toward what’s uncomfortable in our relationships. We explore why she left the mormon church and how she got into zen practice. We also take a good look at parenting, marriage, and why it’s so paramount to be able to take our partner’s point of view. I know you’ll appreciate this dialogue.

SHOWNOTES:

  • A special guest kicks off the podcast [0:10]
  • Beginning of the interview [5:20]
  • Diane shares the arc of her life up to this point [6:00]
  • Diane’s “genius zone”: Meditation and Mediation [10:00]
  • Skill with conflict = comfort with difference [16:00]
  • Diane shares about the relationship dynamic with her husband [19:30]
  • Diane defines conflict: “Extreme difference that is fueled by emotion, and is very disruptive to the system” [21:00]
  • Why is conflict “good news”? [22:10]
  • The 3 styles of conflict [24:15]
    • Avoidance
    • Accommodation
    • Aggression
  • How Diane uses meditation to work with conflict [29:00]
  • Diane demos mindfulness meditation [32:50]
  • The yogic practice of hearing perspectives we don’t agree with [39:00]
  • Bringing Zen and Integral into conflict [45:40]

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