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Romans 8:23a NLT

'And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering.'

I find it challenging to live as if that which I have embraced through faith is as real as that which I experience daily. The realities of living through each day exert pressures upon me, both objective and subjective. I have to find the resource to pay bills, feed myself and my family, and maintain my home. This doesn’t happen by magic, and as the years add up, the energy and effort that working demands, grows. I also can have a conversation that lowers my mood, leaving me having to deal with emotions and self-perceptions that are powerful influencers over the development of that mood. This in turn can determine my behaviour. I consider that this is the inner groaning Paul writes about.

It is reassuring as I sit looking out on my garden that all of creation shares in this unconscious groan. I am not alone. When Katey died, many communicated that it must be a relief, for she had moved onto a better place. Now, here’s the rub. I completely agreed intellectually, yet had little emotional capacity to experience such relief. The line between this world and the next seemed exceptionally thin as I sat with her during her final hours of mortal life. Yet, gazing at her body once life had departed, I experienced little connection with that better place, something I believed in faith. The question remains, as I groan under the weight of daily living, how much do I eagerly await the redemption of my body?

So when my neighbour describes me as angry and frightening, I shrink and wonder how I am showing up. Is this mere perception, a statement to manage the space between us to their advantage? Or am I simply incapable of living at peace with myself and others? The words have an impact and leave me to ponder how I straddle two worlds; the one experienced and the other held by faith.

QUESTION: In what ways do you experience this “groaning” that Paul talked about?

PRAYER: Thank you, Jesus, for sending us your Holy Spirit to sustain us, help us, and give us hope for the future.