Day 53 - Issue 22
Psalm 25:2 NLT
I trust in you, my God! Do not let me be disgraced, or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat.
One of the curses of life is the constant anxiety about what others might be thinking about me. When I was working and I received an unexpected invitation to meet with my line manager, I immediately went into panic about what I must have done wrong. By nature I’m a self-confident individual, yet in workplace environments I assume I am in trouble. The mind plays with and embellishes that thought, and all the shortcuts I’ve taken to get the job done come to mind. What will I be challenged with?
This fear of exposure then creates a second problem. I begin to weave a narrative to cover my tracks, even before I know if my tracks have been uncovered. I do this much like Adam in the garden; I point in every direction but my own and seek to blame others.
Of course, on most occasions there is no ‘trouble’. It’s an honest conversation unrelated to my performance. I breathe a sigh of relief while acknowledging I’ve passed through a stressful time. At root of all of this is my need to feel as if I’m in control. And I am not; God is. It is my responsibility to live as best I can within the circumstances I encounter.
The problem is, however I seek to manage a situation, if someone chooses not to like me or refuses to help me, there is nothing I can do about it. All I control is my own decisions and perspectives. Better to focus on what I can control rather on what I can’t. When I fail to take this course I run the risk of chameleon-like seeking to become what I assume the other person wants. This is a form of slavery to the opinion of others. It is best to acknowledge my powerlessness, become like Jesus, in other words, and acknowledge my feelings of disappointment, resentment, anger or whatever. Best to talk these through with Jesus, who both understands and provides a route forward in which I am not controlled by feelings induced through my reaction to others.
QUESTION: Do you make many assumptions based upon data you interpret from the actions of others?
PRAYER: Lord, help me to focus on what you say about me and what you think about what I do.