14 Questions To Ask To Know If It's Abuse
SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®
with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor
14 Questions To Ask To Know If It's Abuse
As I mentioned in previous show notes, being in an abusive relationship--even minimally abusive--is a little like being part of that urban legend of cooking frogs: you don't notice the dysfunction and abuse because the heat is slowly turned up. And, then? You're cooked!
Coming to a place of recognizing abuse when it presents itself is a long journey for most people. Why? Because most people are good, willing to accept and go the extra mile, compassionate, and kind. When abusive behavior shows up, they are understanding at first. That's when it starts going sideways! And, if it happened in your home when you were a child, you didn't see it coming!
Yes, it is wise to wait and see the patterns, traits, and cycles to be clear that what you're experiencing is abusive. Many people can say one abusive thing, one time, in the heat of the moment. Abusive people do it WAY TOO FREQUENTLY!
So, you HAVE to recognize the difference between a person who is momentarily going through a difficult time and is cranky, and an abusive person who has no regard for who you are, how you feel, or what you think, need, or want.
In this episode, I list fourteen--fourteen!!!--questions you need to ask yourself? If the person you have in mind is doing any, or many, of these things, it's time to wake up and smell the herbal tea. This person is being ABUSIVE!
If you see patterns of behavior that are ones intended to dominate, control, or alienate others, these are signs of potential trouble. It only gets more serious from there.
Think about these fourteen questions. If you recognize that these fourteen are things that are consistent in your relationship, it's time to do something positive and healthy. You have likely been making excuses for them for awhile because they are confusing, and you want to err on the side of compassion. With Hijackals, that can only go so far. You can have compassion for them, but it is essential not to condone or enable their behaviors. For that to happen, you have to see the behaviors clearly for what they really are.
You cannot risk your well-being, or that of your children, a moment longer. This is REALLY IMPORTANT!
Read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.com
If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.
Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial consultation HERE for only $97.
I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.
Talk soon.
Rhoberta
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,
The Relationship Help Doctor
Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.
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