In Todays episode we are going to talk about life transitions, unexpected circumstances, and how we can keep our marriage strong during high-stress seasons. 

This Episode is brought to you by The Unveiled Wife 

This is our first traditionally published book and in it we share those first four years of our marriage. It was definitely a strenuous and difficult  time of our lives, one of our biggest transitions as we share the details of getting married …

and what we faced was definitely unexpected. So in sharing about life transitions in todays episode we also wanted to give a shout out to this book as it dives deep into how we handled it all and how God led our hearts through those tough times. 

You can get The Unveiled Wife on Amazon.com 

Topic:

So Life transitions.

We know a little something about that. I guess we should recap for everyone what we have been experiencing this last year. 

First…Our last podcast episode was march 2021 so a year and a half ago! 

Where does time go?? I can’t believe it has been that long and were sorry! We know many of you have reached out to us asking about the podcast and wondering when we were going to kick it back up. 

Honestly, there were several times we thought we were going to be able to do another season and then realized the timing and what we were going through was too much. There wasn’t enough of us to go around. 

We thought we were going to launch a fall of 2021 season but thats right when we were packing up to move out of our house that we sold. Which was the beginning of a very long nomadic stint for our family that we just didnt expect. 

We were building - having our house built - and things got hung up. We just recently moved into our new house this summer and as soon as we unpacked our office boxes we got so excited to start planning for this season 6 of Marriage After God! 

We talked about starting the podcast up several times thinking we would be moving in and unpacking. I think we even mentioned it on social media. Then something would stall us. So for those of you who maybe felt like we were stringing you along….so sorry! 

So here we are at the start of a new season. We had fun brainstorming how to use this time to bless all of you listening. 

what to expect this season:

Did anyone notice we have a new intro song? We just tried to freshen everything up for ya! 

We have 12 episodes coming your way for this season

Then we will be back again in the beginning of the year with season 7 

Some of the topics include 

money and cryptocurrency, 

Our journey with pornography, 

how to slow down when life feels so fast, 

and past baggage how it affects marriage. 

Just a reminder for our listeners that we are not coming at you with authority in these areas of marriage, we are not here to tell you how exactly how to do  X Y Z for a perfect marriage…..

we are here to share what we have experienced and point you to the One - capital O - who helps us in our marriage. We hope to be a light in this dark world pointing you to the Christ and His word. 

We also added a weekly challenge for those of you who want to jump in and have fun with us - we have some creative ways of engaging in marriage. 

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Keeping Marriage Strong During Life Transitions

When we say “Transition” we are talking about the process or a period of time where life is changing. That space where there are shifts going on that can be strenuous on a marriage or family.

We wanted to start this season off with talking about transitions because we know we are not the only ones who have experienced life transitions in the last year or two. We know many people and families who have been through housing moves, across the country moves, job moves, having babies, losing babies through miscarriage, school changes, and so much more. Some of these shifts may have been micro maybe barely noticed the affects and for others you are still be feeling the affects of. 

And then there is the transition of summer to fall which we are all in that space. 

The Season of pumpkin spice or bust.

So we'll share a little about our transition and hopefully encourage you with some scripture to give you some tools to use as you endure yours. 

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We mentioned we sold our house and moved out last October almost a year ago. We have traveled and we have moved around a bit in our town since then. We just moved in to our house we built and have started to feel settled - although im sure to feel fully settled there will take more time. 

I think we should share a bit about the last 12 months or so. Maybe a quick rundown.

Sold our house in April, But moved out in October. 

Permits took way longer to get than we thought. 

Then winter hit and slowed the build process down a bit.

We traveled 

Lived in 30 or so different houses

Stayed with friends 

Stayed in trailer

It was a long season for us and some of it was unexpected…maybe we should have expected it. 

What was the hardest part of that whole transition for you? 

Jen - every time we got to a new place I set it up for our family putting clothes in closets

And then when we left a place I felt the need to clean up after ourselves and sometimes those mini-transitions were only a few days apart so I felt exhausted by it 

Aaron - I think for me the hardest part of it all was the loss of my routine and consistency. I feel like I lost all forward momentum. And it effects every area of my life. Constantly being on the move, in a new place trying to maintain anything that resembled a routine was made very difficult. 

The one routine that i regret dropping the ball on the most was our family bible time. 

Also, It was hard keeping the vision for our family in the right place. Because it was so long there was a lot of discouragement at times. 

JEN: yeah I remember thinking we hadn't been on a date where we vision cast in a while. It was as if all the usual things we did vanished under the change. But in the new year we did choose one things to pursue and that helped us feel like we were working toward something. The new book! 

Speaking on looking at the good

What was a highlight of our transition? 

Jen - I think God showed me just how flexible our family is and especially our kids. Although there were a few times they were worn out to at the end of it. But we had a blast traveling - 6-7 weeks on the road all the way to Ohio to see family. South Dakota. Mt Rushmore 

Tenn. Aarkansas. Waco. We all got to do something we wanted to do. 

Real quick note on transitions and kids - growing up fast almost 10 7 5 4 2 - baby and Aaron sent me a video this am of edie in Zion national park as a baby which just makes me want to have another! 

Aaron  - My Highlight was seeing how simple our family can live.  WE had to since we didn't really have any place to put anything lol

Jen - we are actually doing another episode on this living simple idea!

Do you think our marriage remained strong during this transition? 

Jen- yes and no - there were definitely times that I broke down emotionally because I wasnt getting what I wanted - home and homeschool - but you were a pillar of encouragement and reminded me constantly that we chose to make an investment and that it was ok that it wasn't happening as quickly as we hoped

A friend of ours also said to me when i was sharing in a text how difficult it was for me - what does God have for you in this? I was not always able to answer that with certainty but it made me take my eyes off myself and surrender to him. 

Aaron - I think our marriage did remain strong. Even when there were emotional breakdowns or discouragement or even regrets I don't believe those things were evidence of our marriage being weak but rather a test of our marriages strength. We as individuals can have weak moments but those weak moments do not define the entirety of our marriage. 

Times will get hard. 

Emotion will be high.

Regrets will creep in

Fears will manifest

And this is normal and ok. 

But, if they are walked through with Christ and The Spirit then those moments of weakness become part of the strengthening bond between us. 

What do you think helped our marriage stay strong during this transition for us? 

Jen - Prayer, our friends who supported us and let us vent or let us stay at their house and use their showers. Talking about it late nights with you. Crying and knowing it's ok to feel like something is hard and others validating that. But not staying there. Willing to press into the uncomfortable. 

Aaron - remembering that this was something that we wanted and looked forward to. We chose it and it was a good thing we were working toward. And good things rarely come easy.

One of the scriptures I wanted to share about life transitions to encourage you all today is….

Ecclesiastes 7:8-11

Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools. Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?” For it is not from wisdom that you ask this. Wisdom is good with an inheritance, an advantage to those who see the sun.

Super convicting here. Being patient over proud. I mean….I see pride in me thinking that I needed my life to be a certain way. And angry when that didn't happen. 

Being stuck in that rat wheel of past days being better. Why did this happen. Even our kids would say I just want our old house. It dimmed the light for us to enjoy or look forward to what would be ours. 

Another good verse to anchor to in life transitions….

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Pretty clear. We don't need all the answers up front to move forward. Or know where we are living next :)  But we do need to trust the Lord in everything.

AMEN to that

Sometimes we look at life transitions and it can be easy to identify what was hard about it because its what we complained about or was our focus of frustration. A good thing to practice though in hard life transition is to take What James tells us to heart. James 1:2-3

 2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 

And also what paul tells us in Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Having hearts of thankfulness and looking for the good will save you from so much heartache and frustration.

Isaiah 40:8

The grass withers, the flower fades,

    but the word of our God will stand forever.

I had reposted this verse on insta stories but I shared a graphic poster of it done by scripture_type and oh its so beautiful…..I had a friend come up to me at church and say give it to me as a gift! So now i have it hanging up in my house and I love it. So stalking your friends stories for gift ideas is good :)

Our circumstances are constantly changes and shifts happen. What we have no will not always be, but what is faithful to stand forever, what can we trust, the word. We need to be in the word.

Family bibletime

Jen- i admit i was not good at this and in hindsight i wish i would have poured more into the word during this time. I was in this cycle of staying busy tired busy tired just waiting for circumstances to change so i can implement routine. Don't do what I did. Learn from my mistakes. 

I think this IS the number one way we can remain constant and steadfast during transitions and life changes. Being constant in The word of God and also prayer. It’s feeding our mind and heart and spirit. We cannot hope to remain strong when we are not giving our heart mind and spirit the bread of life. Our strength and ability will only carry us so far. 

• Conviction of not praying constantly for our circumstances. Learned a new lift and my coach encouraged me first - Im going to talk you through and tell you areas you can improve. Don't think about how you are doing it wrong just listen and try to adjust as you go. Immediately thought about God saying to me in this conviction of prayer - don't wallow over failure or what you haven't been doing just hear my voice and obey do the next right thing. Adjust. 

As we take those next right steps we encounter growth. We change. We get better. Just like in the gym. 

And even though we have been talking about life transitions and how circumstances can shift our lives and routines up……other words that define transitions are: growth, development, progress, transformation

Which don't really define how i feel in the midst of a life transition…but i do believe that as we endure through hard circumstances and remain humble and teachable we DO grow in those moments. 

Philippians 3:12

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.

This is the WHY we do what we do as christians. We choose to be faithful and rely on God because Christ has made us his own. 

So the perspective we hope to leave you with today is seeing how our life transitions transition us move us toward growth as we choose to do what is right as we respond to circumstances. 

Weekly Challenge:

Play a game together - you might have it already, you can barrow it from a friend or go buy it! Chess, checkers, scrabble, card games like war, more active pickle ball or horse or catch

Prayer:

Dear Lord, 

Thank You for the transitions of life. Thank You for walking us through different seasons and circumstances to show us areas of our lives You want us to grow in. The varying seasons of life help us to learn to be patient and they also teach us to be content where we are. Lord, we know transitions and changes will always come, some may be anticipated and some may be unexpected, some may even be tragic, but in all these things please teach us to rely on You, to run to You for our hope and to remain in Your Word to sustain us and strengthen us. We pray for the husband and wife listening to this right now. We pray You would be their shelter and strong tower. We pray they would walk in thanksgiving and joy during whatever transitions they are currently going through or about to enter into. Lord, You are good. We love You and ask You to help us keep in step with Your Holy Spirit no matter what this life brings.

In Jesus’ name AMEN!