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Of all the vices I’ve mentioned so far, self-righteousness has the potential to be the most polarizing! A self-righteous person will oftentimes defend his or her actions as well-meaning. On the surface, nothing is wrong. The problem is the intention. Self-righteous people can actually make very good points. They’re not always wrong. However, they measure themselves by other people’s abilities to keep some preconceived rules. They may seem helpful, but they are tearing you down by constantly pointing out your inability to live by the rules. In today’s episode, we will explore some underlying reasons why self-righteous people are the way they are and how to deal with them. Key Points 1. 5 Signs to watch out for 2. 4 Tips for dealing with a self-righteous person 3. What is really driving them Subscribe/Rate/Review Read Full Transcript Of all the vices I’ve mentioned so far, self-righteousness has the potential to be the most polarizing! A self-righteous person will oftentimes defend his or her actions as well-meaning.  On the surface, nothing is wrong. The problem is the intention. Self-righteous people can actually make very good points. They’re not always wrong. However, they measure themselves by other people’s abilities to keep the rules. They may seem helpful, but they are tearing you down by constantly pointing out your inability to live by the rules. They may act out of envy, being jealous that you are living by a set of rules that they cannot or will not follow. For example, a fitness buff that eats right and goes to the gym 5-7 days a week may be jealous that a couch potato can eat and do whatever he wants. After all, it’s not fair for the fitness buff to do all the right things and let this couch potato get away with not living right. What an outrage! Thus, the fitness buff will use facts to put down or shame the couch potato into doing what the fitness buff wants. Heaven forbid the couch potato resists such well-meaning advice! As you can see, this is a subtle form of control. Self-righteous people can indeed be control freaks. Someone has told me that the truth is the truth.  What does it matter how one delivers it?  I agree except for one point.  You underestimate human nature. If you try to impose your will on someone, even if you’re right, the other person is likely to resist even if they know better. Let’s face it, nobody likes dealing with a self-righteous person. For the most part, we all do the best we can. Having another person – especially one who doesn’t know you well – stand in judgment of your behavior is a bitter pill to swallow. Rigidity – Self-righteous people often have a narrowly defined view of the world. They have a specific idea of the way things should be, and they truly believe that everybody should adhere to the same standards. It can be very difficult for a self-righteous person to acknowledge that there might be another way of doing things. Excessive criticism – Self-righteous people can follow up their rigid view of things with an excessive amount of critical talk. They tend to be very quick to share their often-unwanted opinions with everyone around them. They don’t seem to care whether people are interested in what they have to say. Rather, they think everyone should be interested, and they act accordingly. Tattle-telling – One thing that self-righteous people love to do is report wrongdoing on the part of others. A self-righteous person will be the first one to run to the boss to tell him that you’re late, or to let everyone in your book club know that you didn’t read the book. Shaming – This is related to tattle-tale behavior, but it is a little different. Oftentimes, a self-righteous person has the mistaken belief that holding someone up for shame or ridicule will bring on better behavior. Instead, the opposite is often true. The emotion of shame can have a negative impact on the shamed person’s self-esteem,