lystn

Arguments are healthy when you’ll learn to ‘agree to disagree’ and respect each others point of view and it becomes unhealthy when you’re constantly focused on putting the other person down or bickering and attacking at them repetitively. Bickering is when every time one person says something the other person has a reaction to it. There is a constant friction which is quite negative unlike a positive spark. Know that when you are in a critical mode, you are constantly reacting and hardly reflecting. Reflection requires time, and space to comprehend what is it that the other person meant. Well, argument is usually associated with proving a point. When we argue, we assume either of the two: I am right or you are right. Which is exactly why its important to find a middle ground and its important to balance out the entire process of action and reaction. So one of the important dynamic of arguments is that: Neither of you should be in a position to weigh whether what ‘situation or event’ is worthy being angry and upset. Using “I-feel statements” works best when your emotions seem overwhelming and you want to lash out at your partner. Recognise there are two problems: your emotions and the situation: when you argue with your partner, you’re functioning from a place where your emotional needs were left unmet and because you are emotionally volatile you fail to distinguish between what the actual problem at hand is. I want you to recognise when the argument becomes too heated, step away for a while and regain your perspective. Allow your mind to cool down by taking a walk or spending some time alone. Usually, you can approach the conflict with a renewed attitude once you clear your head. Every couple goes through rough patches but constant fighting in a relationship is tiring and draining. When you stop fighting, you enjoy your relationship – and each other – more. Take these steps to your next argument and learn to solve the conflict in a healthy and productive way. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/thehappinessproject/message