Episode 11 - Positive Detachment
Before I move onto the episode today, I want you to take some time and truly reflect on this quote by Eckhart Tolle – ‘When you are detached, you gain a higher vantage point from which you view the events in your life instead of being trapped inside them’ Positive emotional detachment is a state of inner calmness, and poise and the ability to not let other people’s actions affect your emotional state of being. This is a skill that will help you to stop dwelling into your past and allow you to be totally present wherever that you are. Once you are positively detached, you will also learn to stop taking things personally. Most of the times, when we attach our feelings to the situations, we experience anxiety and end up becoming more biased towards our feelings; and this doesn’t allow us to take some reasonable decisions. When people hear the term ‘detachment’ they simply think of it as being ‘indifferent or passive or lacking feelings’. However, positive detachment means something else. It means that you need to allow yourself to deeply immerse into the situation; but there’s a trick here – You need to behave like an actor. You need to fully, deeply immerse into the character and experience and feel everything but recognise that you can step outside of the character and reflect – to not attach ‘who you are’ to any desired outcome is what positive detachment is all about. According to a spiritual author Ron W. Rathbun, “True detachment isn’t a separation from life but the absolute freedom within your mind to explore living.” I want you to ask yourself these questions – 1. Do you allow other peoples moods to affect your state of mind? 2. Does other people’s anger affect you? 3. Do you get angry or frustrated on trivial matters? 4. Is your peace dependent on the external factors? 5. Do you think something will be a disaster if it does not happen the way you’ve planned? 6. Do you want everyone else to behave the way you want them to? Positive emotional detachment creates a space of freedom within ourselves, making us feel whole, complete and emotionally in control of our lives. It allows us to experience feelings and emotions without being consumed by it. When you learn the art of being positively detached, you free yourself from the emotional burden. You can still love someone wholeheartedly, and not their behaviour. You can still embrace everything in your life with remaining open to the possibility of having it gone someday. It is an attitude of open-mindedness and of being practical. “Detachment is not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you.” --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/thehappinessproject/message
