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“How could I allow myself to mourn what I had lost? Because if I mourned it, then it was like a death, and I couldn’t accept that the me that I knew had died.”   Producer: Whit Missildine Editor: Whit Missildine Episode Summary: After devoting his life to a singular passion, a man develops a rare condition that threatens to crush his dreams forever. Today’s episode featured Stefan Weiner. As a musician, he goes by Stefan Alexander and you can hear more about his music on his website at www.stefanalxndr.com, on Instagram @stefanalxndr, or look for Stefan Alexander on any music platform. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: www.actuallyhappeningstore.com to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: explicit language Intro Music: ""Illabye" – Tipper Music Bed: “Cylinder Four” “Cylinder Five” – Chris Zabriskie Outro Music: "The Moon is Down" - El Diablo a Adam Schraft (Rojo y Negro) @eldiablosf @rojo-y-negro www.eldiablobass.com/   Services If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255  National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264 National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741